Year of Lessons

(Pretty self-explanatory—these are 12 lessons that I happened to learn during these particular months…)

·      Lesson I’ve Learned in JANUARY: Never let a lady touch your memory stick…

 

·      Lesson I’ve Learned in FEBRUARY: There is no Black Future Month, so during History month you gotta give it up for both…

 

·      Lesson I’ve Learned in MARCH: Just like the saying goes– in like a lion, out like a nervous breakdown…

 

·      Lesson I’ve Learned in APRIL: The Easter Bunny’s not Catholic– hell, he isn’t even real (but being him is a sweaty job…)

 

·      Lesson I’ve Learned in MAY: Provided you have the right windows for a good air flow, you can have sex all month…

 

·      Lesson I’ve Learned in JUNE: (slow, deep “Tonto” voice) White Man turn Red fast in Sun…and not in good way…

 

·      Lesson Learned in JULY: Never perform on July 11^th if your name is James Gates (maybe I’m forgetting to sacrifice a virgin…)

 

·      Lesson Learned in AUGUST: Apparently, August is National Vandalism Month (heat turns people into douchebags or something…)

 

·      Lesson Learned in SEPTEMBER: At a certain point in the year, guys stop wearing flip-flops, and thank God for that…

 

·      Lesson Learned in OCTOBER: Halloween, by far the sexiest of holidays- girls are double-DTF for the whole 2 weeks around it…

 

·      Lesson Learned in NOVEMBER: Thanksgiving- the perfect holiday for depression (and helps set the tone for the rest of year)…

 

 

·      Lesson Learned in DECEMBER: Having a birthday on the equidistant point between Xmas and New Year’s sucks all of your balls…

 

Trying to learn something new every day—for example, today’s lesson: the movie STARGATE does not actually get better with age (we’re hoping a better lesson comes along later today, but sometimes you get what you get…),

JG