Landon Taylor’s photography

The economy is in the tank. Even if you have a solid job, it’s a little harder to part with the cash. After all, in recent years the average consumer has spent upwards of 120 bucks to help Cupid move the romance along. We feel your pain here at NakedCity. And we’d like to offer up some ideas for your Valentine’s celebration.

After all, I’d hate to see any of our readers lose out on getting laid, just because they don’t have the bank.

For those who are co-habitating, let’s start with the first meal of the day. You say you can’t afford a champagne breakfast? Try some high-end ingredients in moderation for a tasty breakfast in bed. Pick up inexpensive sparkling wine—Taylor has some that don’t suck—and mix in some OJ for your champagne glasses. Hit Dillons and find some nice thinly sliced salmon (hey, I saw all of these ingredients last week at Aldi, too, if you’re willing to face the crowds there) and a big mozzarella ball. Then make open-faced salmon sandwiches.

YUMMY McMUFFY

English muffins
Tomato slices
Smoked salmon
Mozzarella

Place your sliced and opened English muffins on a broiler pan and cover the muffins with as much salmon as you like. Place a slice of tomato and a thick slice of cheese on top. Broil (and, guys, you have to watch it, not lose focus watching ESPN) until the cheese is just melted and getting a touch of brown to it.

Stick them on a plate, slice a banana up next to them and serve with your cheap wine Mimosa. She’ll probably never let you out of bed, so you might save some money on dinner.

If your partner does let you out of bed, or you already have plans for dinner - well, sorry. But you can still save some cash and still look romantic, especially if you don’t typically cook for them. Go to dinner, let him or her even order an appetizer. But don’t let them order dessert because you have made a very tasty one already at home. (Author’s Note: this will also potentially save you 20-40 bucks at the movie theatre, depending on how much you guys like popcorn.) And, guys, this dessert has two things going for it: chocolate and the word “French” in the name. O-la-la, isn’t it romantic?

CHEAP & EASY FRENCH SILK PIE

1 1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
4 eggs
1/2 pound melted butter (yes, a POUND)
3 one-ounce chocolate squares, melted
Baked pie shell
Whipped cream

Buy and bake a pre-made pie crust—it’s just not worth the trouble to make from scratch unless you do it often. Trust me. Beat the sugar and butter for five minutes in a mixer or with a hand-held one. Melt the chocolate slowly (a few seconds at a time) in the microwave. Add your melted chocolate to the butter mix and beat for five minutes. Now, add your eggs ONE AT A TIME and whip for an additional five minutes after EACH EGG. Heap into a 9-inch pie shell and refrigerate.

Normally, I would recommend that you buy a carton of heavy whipping cream and create a big bowl full of yummy whipped cream to top your masterpiece. However, it is Valentine’s Day and you can have some additional fun with the squirty kind of whipping cream found in the can after you eat the pie... so just make sure you find the canned variety that is real cream and not oil-based.

And have fun.